To my minions of faithful fans:
Oden
Aahhhh.....Oden.....This is a tough one. Let's begin our journey with a bit of nomenclature, shall we? There are many types of foods in Japan that fail to fall into one category or another...the largest being (or not being?) is the 'soups'. I call them soups much to the chagrin of all my Japanese friends and cohorts. Why? Because for me, a soup is an edible liquid with other edible food stuffs inside. But this definition doesn't work well for Japanese food because there are a bunch of soups that clearly aren't soup. Oden is one. Nimono is another, as well as Nabe. One of my students called them 'cauldron food' one time. I think this is absolutely the best term for these soups. But I will continue to say soup because I'm American, so I'm right.
As my father is famous for saying 'I don't much like soup, but this is good' I have taken a lovehate relationship with soups. I was conditioned from a young age to not like soup....even though it is good. Yeah, that's right. And so begins my journey with Oden.
My first experience with Oden didn't even include eating it. I remember clearly that cold autumn day in Fukushima when I first walked in the finest Oden purveyor in the land (7eleven) and smelled something fishy. Was it fishy? Was it sweaty? What the hell was that smell? It actually smells like a live fish, sweating away his hangover in steam room while reading a newspaper and occasionally ringing out the towel that he is sitting on top of. Yeah, one of those really thin, free towels they give you at the hot springs that are easy to extract about a liter of liquid from. Add the smell of wet newspaper and warm soy sauce (everything smells like warm soy sauce in Japan) and you have Oden broth. I'm 100% certain that is the exact recipe for 7eleven Oden broth. This olfactory odeon is heightened by the fact that the door to 7eleven is closed, the heater is on full blast, and the air is 'moisty' compared to the dry outside winter.
Then I saw it. I couldn't believe my eyes. What the fuck is that sitting next to the cash register?! Its like a huge hot tub of unwanted and indescribable foodstuffs. I see a hot dog...some kind of tofu, weird tentacles, skewers with...food (?) on them, weird grey noodles, white triangles, dinosaur eggs, dark matter and little satchels which can only contain some type of bullion. This is all just sitting there, staring at me from next to the cash register, almost painful in its stillness. It isn't boiling, it's not even steaming...it's just sitting there looking unappetizing and smelling like a sweaty fish. Of course, the cauldron contraption is decked out with some wacky paper decorations to make it look like a food cart outside on the street, but you're not fooling me. It's sitting next to cash register in the supernova like glare of 7eleven fluorescent lights. It makes me want to hurl. I try to look away but the little hot dogs wrapped up in soggy bread are staring right back at me like a million little eyes and I swear I saw that octopus tentacle move. At this point, I seriously hate Oden.
This mindset continued for about a year. I would occasionally spit in the Oden hot tub when the cashier wasn't looking. I hated people for eating it. I hated it for existing. When people asked me what type of Japanese food I hated, I would say Oden before Natto. Yeah, that is hardcore, I know, but I really despised this stuff. After a while, I got used to the knock you on your ass smell when I opened the door to the glorious convenience store, and I even won a few staring contests with the hot dogs wrapped in soggy bread. I came to not notice Oden, and basically ceased to acknowledge its existence. Just like the homeless. I had won the battle and I would never be bothered by Oden again.
Then it happened. My girlfriend came over to my house one day. “I'll pick up some dinner for us” she said all innocent and cute. She walked in the door a few minutes later with a brown plastic bag containing a large Styrofoam bucket of sorts. Now, I must tell you, I am well versed in every single item available at the convenience store, and I had never seen of these containers before. I began to worry. “I brought Oden” she said nonchalantly, setting the bag down on the table. My mind began to race.....shit shit shit what do I do, what do I do.....my mind flashed back to a story one of my friends told me about men using a certain Oden delicacy, called konyaku as an aid for masturbation. It's cylindrical shaped tofu like substance of unknown origin, which is quite soft, yet firm, pliable, yet tough. “You just cut a hole in the middle....and you know...” he said also nonchalantly while moving his hand back and forth.
My skin broke out into a cold sweat. What if she had bought Konyaku?! Maybe the clerk had seen me spit into hot tub and decided to get back at me. Maybe my girlfriend wasn't really that, and just a secret agent trying to get me eat Oden tainted with tentacles and masturbation foodstuffs. Finally, in my moment of terror, I had an epiphany. I should just man-up and eat it. There must be reason why its available EVERYWHERE. Oden is more readily available than rice, sushi, gyudon (aka beef bowl), ramen, or any other Japanese food you can think of.
“Do you like Oden?” she asked as she gathered up a few bowls and began to peel back the plastic lid.
Stifling my fear and I lied: “Yeah, it's alright. Cheap and healthy.”
She grunted with approval. Whew, dodged that bullet.
She passed me a bowl with a bunch of weird grey noodles, a big slab of daikon radish and a meatball type thing. All very identifiable and surprisingly good looking. She handed me a small dish with a few types of sauce on it. Chinese mustard, something green and something brown.
“What's this?” I sneakily asked, “I usually don't have sauce with Oden”
“This is yuzu goshyo and this is sweet miso”
I was suddenly hungry. She uttered the magic word that makes me want to eat anything associated with it: yuzu. Much like the avocado, I will generally order any food, or be satisfied with anything even remotely connected to yuzu, the small tangy Japanese citrus. And sweet miso?! How had I been missing out on that for so long?
I watched her intently. A little yuzu, and a little mustard on the daikon, and down the hatch. She smiled and watched TV, munching happily, oblivious to the emotional and digestive roller coaster I was about to embark upon. Finally I tried. Fucking delicious. Seriously delicious. The sweaty fish smell was all but gone, and the broth was so light, it was almost like some type of fantastic seawater consommé. The daikon had become this amazing texture almost like an overcooked potato; just strong enough to fight my chopsticks, but a pleasure to bite through. Daikon is one those foods that just tastes enough like nothing to be delicious, too. Much like jicama or button mushrooms. Awesome. Next up were the noodles.
“What are these?”, I asked.
“Konyaku”, she mumbled while chewing.
I tried them reluctantly, surprised that they had somehow taken the form of noodles. Springy and chewy. Almost no flavor at all. Just like the daikon. Awesome. I coated them in Chinese mustard and pleasurably destroyed my sinuses. Yummy. Next the meat ball.
“And this?”, I asked holding up my chopsticks.
“Fish”, she replied.
No surprise there. Tasted exactly like the daikon and the noodles. Everything tasted the same. Just enough flavor to be pleasant, but not enough to be powerful. Oden is all about texture.
I fished off my floating food and drank the broth like the last beer on earth. I was satisfied.
“That was awesome, thank you!”, I said.
She glanced at me sideways. I had clearly overdone the praise for such a simple fare. And that's exactly what I learned about Oden...it is one of those foods that transcends food. Like soba, or pho, or (real) tacos, or the hot-dog, or crepes, it crosses the boundary of 'good' food and is just food. It tastes like whatever sauce you put on it. If you want it to taste like nothing, it will. If you just want something hot and cheap and healthy, it will never let you down. That's why it is right next to the cash register. That's why it's available everywhere. Now, whenever I open the door to 7eleven, and that Oden stank hits me in the face, I get hungry. I see all those weird offerings, floating like turds in a pool, and wonder what they will taste like. There are literally 30 things in that glorious hot tub and I'm certain they all taste awesomely like nothing. Go try it.
