Conbini

The Japanese love convenience. This is a fact. Somewhere between the space age atm’s that will let you apply for a mortgage, the seventeen level shopping centers with ramen restaurants on each floor, the proliferation of the sushi-go-round, and a postal service that make a mockery of America’s, I started to notice it. This country is very convenient, but in a lot of ways, it makes no difference to me. I can’t read or speak Japanese, so often times things that could be convenient become very inconvenient.

The atm is a good example. I left my English cheat sheet at home one day, but I was out about town and needed cash. What am I to do? Ride my mama-chari all the way home? I think not, I walked straight over to that ATM and single handedly, single fingeredly, brought the entire bank to screeching halt. I had applied for loan, invested in rice futures, bought some credit default swaps and requested in $20,000 (dollars not yen), all without having even entered my pin yet. The lights in the bank dimmed, the staff was rioting, and the Japanese yen fell by a few points and sunk deeper into its global depression. In the end, I got my 20,000 yen I needed for the next two weeks, but it was a struggle. All because of the complex, yet extremely convenient (should you need it) atm.

Another system this brings to mind is the insanely complex system of train tickets. There are so many options, taking into consideration if you want a seat, if you want to stand, if you have luggage, if you have nothing, if you have children, a pet, or both, if you want to ride inside the train, or if you want to ride outside the train….I could go on. Finding your station and destination is not difficult using the massive maps that occupy the walls of the station. Often times they have English also. The problem arrives when you have to buy the ticket, from (surprise!) a machine that looks exactly like an atm. Usually these machines will even have an English feature, but as to what any of the English means…good luck. Do you want the super express, the super express limited, the express limited, the limited express, the express, or the ultra super express limited ticket? How something can be super and express, but still be limited is beyond me. Do you want a reserved or non reserved ticket? All of these options reflect in the price accordingly, so, if you know what you want or need, you can possibly save some money. I know I want to ride the train, and I know I want a seat, so usually I end up buying the most expensive ticket I can find. Often times a find myself on some strange car like the women’s only car that is serving pink champagne and has beds and allows dogs up to 300 pounds. Or I tighten my belt and buy the cheapest ticket which is on the smoking car with no seats and no air conditioning. For a 20 minute ride it makes no difference to me, for a 4 hour journey it makes a huge difference.

Occasionally, a convenience will come along that transcends the language barrier. Something that is so beautifully designed, it speaks to all, illiterate foreigners, and illiterate Japanese alike. I am talking about the convenience store, or in Japanese borrowing the “con-bini”. Every street has a conbini, and inside each conbini, you know exactly what you will find. Regardless of the name or brand, the products are virtually the same. The most popular in my town are, of course, the ubiquitous 7-Eleven, sunKus (circle K’s bastard child), family mart, and a few others.

They are not hard to find. Regardless of what time of day, there are no less than 1000 fluorescent lights on at all times, even in the middle of the day these things outshine the sun. They attract the needy like flies to sugar water. In many ways, these stores are a mirror image of their American brothers. You can get food, beverages, household items, cosmetics and magazines. But, comparing the two is like comparing the buffet at the Bellagio and the buffet at Golden Corral.

Still skeptical? I will explain: all convenience stores have food right? A typical meal from the American will be a hotdog, a bag of chips, a fountain drink and a donut. Not a bad meal, and, not to say I haven’t this on many a road trip. At the conbini you can get a fresh ham sandwich with the crust cut off, a nigiri ball of rice stuffed with sushi and coated with sesame seeds, a carton of pure grapefruit juice and a donut, of course. The difference is quality. The sandwiches are excellent, some have turkey, ham, curry, bbq chicken, egg salad, and other filings that I cannot describe. All with the crust cut off. Not that I like that sort of thing, it just shows the above and beyond attitude of the conbini. The nigiri sushi is amazing, no less that 25 varieties of rice balls, packed with fish or veggies or shrimp or eel. Usually for less the 150 yen. These are my go to item. We haven’t even touched the bento aisle yet. Boxes and boxes of fresh lunch meals, packages with care, usually including rice, meat and veggies, which you can eat cold or hot. All fresh, all seasonally accurate. I have never tasted a bento I didn’t like. I could go for hours about the food.

As far as drinks, the conbini has done away the “fountain” machine and instead amassed a variety of beverages that is astounding. I didn’t even know there were so many edible/potable liquids on this planet. Not only do they have juice, soda, tea, coffee, booze, energy drinks and other elixirs, but each type will come in no less than 4 sizes. One thing that still amazes me about Japan is the popularity of canned, cold coffee. It is sacrilegious, in my opinion. Not to mention, there are least 40 different varieties of this canned coffee, and they all taste EXACTLY the same. Sugary milk with a touch of coffee flavor and some type of concentrated caffeine. A typical conbini will have an entire floor to ceiling reach in refrigerator devoted to canned coffee. They also have cold, canned, English tea with milk, which is being English, quite delightful. Sugary milk with a touch of Ceylon is exactly what I expect from English tea.

The other type of drinkable liquid which we all know and love is alcohol. These stores cater to all drinkers. There are 5 oz cans of asahi and there are 33.8 oz cans. There are cans with sake and grapefruit juice. There are elixirs that I would never put near my face no matter how drunk I needed to be. There are juice boxes with pure sake. (I would love to see juice boxes with firewater in America, there would be public outrage. Liquor in a juice box! But, think of the children!). There are bottles of 20 year old scotch, jack daniels, champagne and Beefeater gin. There are gallon “milk” cartons filled with sake. A bum’s delight. All with out any type of security measures. In America, I could see a group of high school kids running in and stealing enough liquor to be drunk for a year. What you cannot buy is a 12 pack, or a 24 pack of anything. That is distinctly un-conbini in nature. The conbini caters only to the single serving.

The “single serving” is the essence of the conbini. You could stock you entire bathroom with tiny toiletries. You could eat three square meals a day, make three trips, and never spend more that 5 minutes in the conbini total. Think walk-in vending machine. Depending on your mission in life, the conbini could outfit you with whatever you need. Need a porno, a pack of cigarettes, a juice box of fire water and a box cutter? You got it. Need a razor, a box of hair dye, a package of fire crackers and a Red Bull? No problem. How about a canned coffee, a calling card, dog food, and access to a copy machine? Done.

There are even some 7 eleven’s with have taken on the prestigious name: “7&i Holdings”. These particular locations offer all the services of a major bank, a FedEx/Kinko’s, a bookie’s, and a fortune teller. You can invest in stock at a convenience store. I kid you not. Not to mention a juice box of sake and sandwich. It’s a beautiful thing I tell you.

The Japanese love convenience and I think the conbini is a manifestation of this in all sense of the word. Once inside, the choices are indeed complex and endless, but regardless of language, race or religion you will walk out a happy camper. You could go camping with supplies from a conbini come to think of it….

To be fair, I must now list the things that I miss about the American convenience store. Number one, far and away, is nachos and the glorious nacho cheese fountain and all you can stack jalapeños. I miss hot coffee from a real coffee machine. I miss being able to buy 5-10 people beer with only one item on my receipt. I miss grape Gatorade and 16 ounce Red Bull. I miss the sweaty hotdogs rolling peacefully back and forth. I miss ranch flavored sun flower seeds. I miss scratcher lotto tickets….oh how I miss the joy of scratchers…..

PS: to all my loyal fans (all 3 of you) please click on my ads so that I can afford to buy a new camera! As you can see, my pictures are sometimes quite bad. My camera is not adjusting to the humidity. If it cannot take a sharp picture in the football-stadium-esque lights of the conbini, it is time to retire her. Thank you for you support and patronage!!! Next week is o-bon vacation so I will have loads more stories for you coming soon. Peace!